On Overcoming Fear


Fear,Love,Accepting, Face Fear,God,Life,Live Happily, Fear Nothing, Don't Fear, Afraid, Don't Be Afraid, Afraid of The Dark, Phobias, Overcoming Fears,, Facing Fears, Scary Things, Fear of The Dark

Many years ago I read in a book the belief or theory that Sigmund Freud’s proteg√©, Carl Jung, had on how certain aspects of ourselves that we suppress, tend to pop up in our lives much more than we would want .

Let me share with you one example. Let’s say that you don’t have good conflict resolution skills; you avoid conflict at all costs. Wouldn’t you think that since you dodge as much trouble as possible, that you are less likely to get tangled up in those types of situations? The answer is actually “No.” Why? I thought you’d never ask. ūüôā In my experience, it was the opposite, meaning it seemed to draw more and more of those situations into my life. The good news though is this: When you find yourself facing a fear, it is happening to you to give you an opportunity to grow. Being outside your comfort zone hurts. Believe me. But it¬†IS absolutely necessary if you want to lose that fear you had.

It’s crazy to think but it is so true. If you are comfortable with the status quo, your status quo, then you are the same personGirl Scared, Running Away, Fear, Fears, Afraid, Face Fears, Love, Hate, Getting Over Something today as you were yesterday. If that’s what you want, then that is fine. But if you want to grow, then you need to always find a way to get outside your comfort zone. If you feel uneasy, butterflies in your stomach, your heart racing, a knot in your throat, then¬†Good! That’s right where you want to be!

So back to my point above. What you worry about, or fear, you tend to think about a lot. What you think about and invest so much energy into,¬†will manifest itself in your life. When it does, look at it as an opportunity, an opportunity to become better, stronger, faster, smarter, or wiser. Like Tony Robbins says, “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” Avoiding problems or fears, is like going around an object. When in actuality, the only way to accept it, face it, or get over it, is to go¬†through it.

Thank you for reading…

~ Bryan ~

Free Will or Fate? Which Do You Believe In


Fate,Three Fates,Determinism,Free Will,Decisions,Life,God,Choices,Decisions,Love,Values,Results,Consequences,The Unknown, God,Theory,Concepts,Roman,Roman Mythology,Greek,Greeks,Romans,Greek Mythology,Life,Death

Let’s start with the definitions of both “Free Will,” and fate, or “Determinism.” First up to bat is “Free Will.”

Free-Will  Free and independent choice; a voluntary decision, and/or the doctrine that the conduct of human beings expresses personal choice and is not simply determined by physical or divine forces.

Determinism –¬†the doctrine that all events, including human action, are ultimately determined by causes external to the will. Some philosophers have taken determinism to imply that individual human beings have no free will and cannot be held morally responsible for their actions.

I was just talking about this with a coworker today and then was posting something similar to it on Facebook tonight, so I figured “What a great blog topic.”

For the record, I can’t honestly tell you that I fully, 100%, believe in Fate. The idea that, no matter what we do, our lives are already predetermined, and therefore; not under our control. I just feel like if that were the case, then why are we even here? Why are we even playing in the game called “life?” There would be no purpose, and we would be like robots, just along for the ride.

I do however believe that things happen for a reason, and that there is at least a degree of determinism or fate that is kind of intertwined within each and every one of our lives. In days past, many of the more advanced civilizations like the Greeks or Romans held firm beliefs about fate, or The Fates as they called them. They controlled and literally wove the threads of all mortal and even the Immortals lives or existences. Even the Roman Gods themselves feared The Fates. There were three (3) of them, and they’re¬†named below:

  • Nona:¬†(Greek equivalent – Clotho), who spun the thread of life from her “distaff” (a tool used for spinning) onto her spindle
  • Decima: (Greek equivalent Lachesis),¬†who measured the thread of life with her rod
  • Morta:¬†(Greek Atropos), who¬†cut the thread of life and chose the manner of a person’s death

So now we arrive at the concept of us having what we have coined “Free Will.” I¬†Definitely believe in “Free Will;” the concept that we have the ability to make our own choices and based upon those choices or decisions, we then have to deal with the consequences that they bring about. And moreover, I believe that we can change the outcome¬†of our life by simply changing the direction, trajectory, or path that we are travelling on. This is simply done by making new, and hopefully better choices. Choices that better define the person that you say, but most importantly believe, you a truly capable of being or becoming.

So where does that leave me? In a quandary or paradox, obviously and unfortunately. Does it make sense to believe in both? Is that possible without sounding like a hypocrite or an indecisive person? To me personally, I’ve never felt that to be the case. I believe there is truth in both philosophies. Everything in life doesn’t¬†always have to be a “this-or-that” type of situation. Physics aside, sometimes two things can occupy the same space at the same time, both make sense, and therefore both be valid to the believer.

I’d love to hear anyone’s feedback on this and what you think to be true. Which side of the line do you stand on, or are you, like me, literally standing¬†on that line?

 

The Words You Speak: Friend Or Foe?


Are the words you speak all that important? Does what you say throughout the¬†day, either to yourself or another, really impact you (or others) as much as “they” say it does? What if I said, “Absolutely. It does!” Would you believe me? If you’re shaking your head from side to side, then this blog is going to be an eye opener for you. And even if you’re in agreement with me¬†as to¬†the importance of the spoken word, this will probably still be an eye opener for you¬†too.

If you haven’t heard of the rice (or water) experiment yet, you should do some research on it. You could even try it out for yourself, like I did. Here’s the short cliff notes version of what it was and why it had such a positive impact on society at large. A Japanese scientist by the name of¬†Dr. Masaru Emoto did some very extensive studies on water molecules. He put a small amount¬†of¬†water on hundreds of petri dishes and then assigned each one its “fate,” ¬†whether it be good or bad. For the “good” ones, every day he would say nice, encouraging, and¬†loving¬†things to them. For those that were labeled “bad” every day he would say mean, cruel, and vicious things to them. He would keep them all separate, so as not to cause any “cross-contamination.” After 30 days of doing this, the results were so unmistakably extraordinary, that Dr. Emoto and his experiments gained international notoriety. As he froze the water that he had said such negative things to, he noticed that they did not¬†crystallize in quite the same way as they normally would. They would be deformed and much less aesthetically appealing than¬†those that he said kind, loving words to. This led him to try the same thing with white rice, since rice contains so much water. The results were incredible…

White_Black Rice 1I have always believed in the power of words, whether they¬†be spoken aloud, or only heard inside your head. Of course they are popular as one of the biggest and easiest ways to convey a message or feeling to another human being. But they are¬†also¬†catalysts or multipliers if you will. They are what give your thoughts more energy to get the process of creation flowing¬†with added momentum. It’s the same reason why when you read aloud, your reading comprehension, or ability to understand and retain what you read, increases dramatically. And if you’re religious or spiritual, you might remember that before God created anything and everything in Genesis 1, it reads, “And God¬†said, ‘Let there be…'” Proverbs 18:21 also says, “Life and death proceedeth from the mouth.” In James 3:4-5, he says “Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. 5¬†Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.

Estimates from studies indicate that we have anywhere from 20,000 to 50,000 (or more) thoughts a day. I’ve read that about 80% of what we¬†say, we¬†say to ourselves, whether it be internal or external. Now I’m no “rocket surgeon” or “brain scientist,” but to me that seems like a lot. To take it even further, I’ve also read that of all of those thoughts and words we say to ourselves, more than 50% of those¬†are judgmental, pessimistic, limiting, and just overall negative. Again, I’m still no “rocket surgeon,” but if you did the math, you would end up with a pretty big number. More than you can count while using all the fingers and toes on both your hands¬†and¬†feet (Pause for smile). I paused while writing this, so you could have enough time to smile before I went on to the next paragraph. No really, I did. ūüôā

As you can see, I’ve added some pictures from the end¬†of my very own “Rice Experiment.” I did it the exact same way Dr. Emoto did. After cooking some rice, I put an equal amount in each jar. Every morning I would grab each one of them and say to the “good” rice nothing but good things, and would tell the “bad” rice nothing but bad or negative things to it. I did this for 30 days straight, without missing a day. I kept them separate, and never opened either of the jars once the experiment began. As you can easily tell, the results were exactly the same results Dr. Emoto saw when he did his experiments. Isn’t it amazing the difference between them? The “good” rice still looked good enough to eat. However the “bad” rice, I wouldn’t want¬†my worst enemy to eat¬†(Pause for gagging).

Rice experiment, Spoken words, The power of words, Black rice, White rice, Evil, Happy, Bad, Good, Positive, NegativeSo where does this leave you? Does this¬†help you understand and truly believe how vital it is to watch what you¬†think and say? It does me. One of the problems lie in¬†the fact that a lot of what we say is practically automatic. When you do something enough times, it becomes a habit. And a habit of negative “self-talk” is such a destructive force. I’m not just talking about it affecting your¬†mood for a little while.¬†Negative thoughts and words can affect your mood, abilities/talents, health, stress level, and mental stability. It can make all the difference in the world between¬†you having a good or bad day, in you getting that job or not, in keeping that relationship in good standing or not, and so much more. It’s really something to take notice of and begin to try and¬†correct.

So what’s the first step in change? Identifying the problem. You can’t fix something if you don’t know what is wrong. You have to try and be more cognizant of the things you think and say. I am also a firm believer in daily “affirmations.” These are short sentences that are positive, empowering, and hopeful. I believe one of the most powerful phrases you can use when reprogramming yourself, or replacing the negative thoughts, words, and beliefs you hold with good (and true) ones, is the statement “I am….” The affirmations I use are all “I am” statements. For example, a few¬†that I like are “I am happy,” and “I am healthy.” They’re short, sweet, to the point, and are a bold declaration to yourself and the universe as to who you are.

If you only take one thing from this¬†blog, I hope it’s how significant and powerful these little things called words truly are. If you believe this, then I guess we’ll have to stop believing that old adage we learned in elementary school that said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” It’s apparent now that words can hurt you, a lot. Especially the negative ones you say to yourself on a daily basis, that you might not be aware of.

 

~Phoenix-Risen~2014

 

 

Change Is The Only ‘Constant’


Change, Difference, Growth, Constant, Time, Challenge, New You, New, New Person, Growing, Opportunity

Throughout time there has been much debating among physicists and other scientist as to what are the (if any) constants in the known universe. To give you a quick definition as to what I mean by a “constant,” it says it’s “a situation or state of affairs that does not change.” That means no matter what, it does not, will not, and can not change, no matter what perspective you’re looking at it from, or what your beliefs are on it.

Wikipedia has this to say on “Physical Constants“. “There are many physical constants in science, some of the most widely recognized being the speed of light in vacuum c, the gravitational constant G, Planck’s constant h, the electric constant őĶ0, and the elementary charge e.” These have also been debated among some of the brightest minds of our time, including Einstein of course, where in his “Special Theory of Relativity,” he went on to challenge some of these, esp. the fact that light may not truly be a constant, because it is relative to whether you are the observed or the observer.

Anywho, before I lose everyone (sorry), I wanted to make a claim that I have also heard about this thing we call “constants.” What I heard and have always liked and very much agreed with. It is this: The only true constant in the universe (meaning it is the only thing that can not and won’t ever change) is the fact that everything always changes. Another way to put it is this: The only thing that never changes is the fact that everything always changes. Nothing is static. Nothing remains the same. Every day is a new day and you are not the person you were even at the time that you began reading this blog, let alone the person you were yesterday or yesteryear.

There is another very important and touching (to me) saying I heard in a meeting way back in the day. It’s pretty much common sense (if there is such a thing). And it is this: If nothing changes, nothing changes. Can we all agree on that? The follow up on that is the fact that if you do not do something different, you will always get the same result. Duh, right? But how often do we actually realize that and make it self-evident in our day-to-day actions? We keep doing the same thing and yet expect a diferent result for some unknown reason. In certain circles this is called ‘insanity.” Because it is pretty insane to keep doing something the same way over and over and yet you feel like one of those times or the next time you do it the same way, it is going to end up differently. How naive can we, I myself very much included, be?

Change, Process, Growth, Opportunity, Opportunities, Person, Live, Success, Steps To Change, Process, Love, You, Me, Goal, Goals, Happiness, Love Yourself, Love, God, Time, Constant, Constants

It brings me to the point of this article. There are many things in my life that need to change. I keep talking about it, which is so very easy to do, but for some reason cannot always seem to actually take the necessary steps to alter or change the thing or things that I¬†say I want to change. Which of course puts me in that little “insanity” bucket.

So, I am making a vow to each and every one of you reading this article now and most importantly to myself. I am making the changes that I keep saying I am going to make. Although I have not shared with every one of you what those are, I will let you in on one of them. My Spirituality. I Will regain that relationship with God that I once had. Part of how I used to do that and will begin doing it again, is to continue to wake up earlier and meditate, pray, and get in the Bible or any other positive, motivating and helpful books. If you have not woke up when the sun comes up or shortly thereafter to just be able to take your time in the morning and not have to rush, that alone changes so much and is so beneficial to you, bodily, mentally, and spiritually.

I posted a quote on Facebook today from Brian Tracy (one of my favorite authors and motivation/self-help author and teacher) that said,¬†“Your willingness to do whatever you need to do, pay whatever price is required, go whatever distance is necessary, and make whatever sacrifice is demanded is the measure of how badly you really want your goal.” It’s like I’ve always said, in the end you will always do what you truly want to do. If you take an action (outside of a gun being put to your head), it’s because you¬†Chose to, and for no other reason.

A lot of what I am speaking of in this blog directly ties into one of my other more recent blogs about every action you take getting you closer to or further away from your goal/s.

I just felt like getting off my chest where I’m at in life right now and maybe by putting this in writing, I might be able to get that motivation that I so desperetly need to get going on the new life and the new Bryan that I am aiming for. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. So, what am I going to do each day to get me closer to my new life? That’s where goal setting comes into play, and may be the next blog I write about.

What do you want for yourself today? What can you change to get you closer to the you that you really want to become or know your worth? Do you feel that you are truly unleashing all of your potential and doing all you can to be the best you that you can be. I bet the answer for everyone reading this is a resounding “no.” So, what are you going to change today to help get you there? The choice is all yours and always will be. No one can do it for you. It all begins with you…

One of The Coolest Things I’ve Seen in A While!!


Pay It Forward, Help, Helping, Charity, Contribution, Kindness, Love, We Are All One, Unity, One World, Peace

So, I was in a gas station the other day and was standing behind someone in line at the register. There was a guy at the counter buying a fountain soda, and another lady behind him, but in front of me, who stepped up to the counter and said, “Actually, I’ll get that for you,” as she glanced up at him. I actually thought they came in the store together or she at least knew him, but I was wrong. They didn’t, and she didn’t. She was doing something that I have always thought was a cool idea that they even made a movie out of, but just never really caught on to main stream, b/c of the fact that it would take a major paradigm shift in the way the average person thinks to make it really “stick.”

So, what is this way of thinking and acting that I am referring to? If any of you remember the Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and Haley Joel movie “Pay It Forward,” That is exactly what I am talking about. The lady in the line right in front of me, decided to pay for the guy at the register’s drink with no strings attached and for no reason, other than to do something good for another human being. She paid it forward.

I’ve always thought it to be such a good idea and good way of doing for others, without expecting anything in return. One of the really cool things about it, is that she had no idea as to what he was buying. It didn’t matter. That’s not the point and will get you nowhere if that is how you are looking at it.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever pulled up to the drive through at a Starbucks, McDonald’s, or even a drive through at the cleaners, only to be toldPay It Forward, Help, Helping, Charity, Contribution, Kindness, Love, We Are All One, Unity, One World, Peace by the person at the window that the guy (or girl) in front of you has already paid for your meal or cleaned and pressed clothes (if it was at a dry cleaners)? Moreover, have you ever done that for someone else has. I can say that I have probably only done it for someone else maybe once. Don’t think I’ve ever had anyone do it for me though. and that’s fine. all is as it should be.

Try it on for¬† day. Why not tomorrow? why don’t you try to pay for someone’s food, candy, coffee, or anything else, whether they’re in line behind you or no one else is even in the store with you. It will make you feel better and is like medicine for the soul. You’ll be amazed at how good it will make you feel, knowing that you may have helped some other less fortunate person not have to spend his last 3 dollars. You may of even helped someone who is way more financially stable than you. That’s not the point, the lesson, or the moral of the story here ladies and gentlemen. It’s about finding compassion and kindness in your heart to do something that you know will be appreciated. It’s about being human. Truly being human.

There is so much negativity in this world, and it is so nice to know that there are still people out there that believe in and practice “paying it forward.” If you practice it and try it on for size, that will be one more person on this earth that¬†is taking a¬†moment to step outside of him/herself¬†and doing to others. And, isn’t that what this is all about? I mean, isn’t that what really matters? Helping others? We would not be where we are today as a society (even With all of its many faults) if we hadn’t helped each other, or used someone else’s shoulders to reach new heights from?

Think about it the next time you order that $6 coffee in the morning. You can afford it. It won’t destroy you. But the ramifications could be astounding. If the person you helped did the same to another, and that person did the same for 2 others, and so on and so forth, imagine all the good that could come of it. It could be a type of plague or virus, but instead of being a negative one with negative results, it could quite literally catch on. More importantly it could literally save someone’s life.

I hope everyone goes into this next week with new eyes on and begins to see that if you do for another, you do for yourself. We are all one. We are all one. Like Matthew 25:40 quotes, “I assure you that when you have done it for one of the …..¬†brothers of mine, you have done it for me.”

Pay It Forward, Help, Helping, Charity, Contribution, Kindness, Love, We Are All One, Unity, One World, Peace, Phoenix, Phoenix Rising, Phoenix Risen, Out of The Ashes, Reborth, Growth, Change, Positive Change, New Life, New Future, Future

~BKT~

 

 

Your Actions Are Way More Important Than You Think


Goals, Steps, Hard Work, Vision, Success, Excellence

There is a saying that I once heard that stuck with me. It was, “Everything you do either gets you one step closer to or one step further from your goal/s.” I like that. When I first heard it I was more interested in trying to find a situation where it didn’t hold, where it wouldn’t apply. I couldn’t find one. That’s when I realized how important and accurate of a statement it was.

I guess it all starts with knowing where you are and where you are wanting to go. Like my now deceased Step-Father Tom said, “You¬†can’t get anywhere¬†in the world when¬†calling a travel agent without knowing two things: where you are now, and where it is you want to go.” So obviously you need to start by being realistic with your current status or standing in life. Then you determine your top goal/s for the day, the week, the month, or year.

This is where you get to look at various activities, traditions, and rituals that you perform throughout your¬†day. Try not to just run through your day on auto-pilot, which in all honesty makes up about 85% of what we do. That’s a large percentage and sounds a bit high, but in actuality it is probably pretty accurate. You just aren’t aware of that fact. That’s why it is called subconscious, because it is sub – below¬†consciousness – awareness.¬†

Write your goals down and regularly look at and revise them. Now, as you go through your day and are entertaining doing something that maybe you shouldn’t do, this is wheGoals, Steps, Success, Determination, Achieving Goals, Steps to a Goal, Love, Growth, Comfort, Succeed, Succeedingn you should ask yourself “Is this going to get me closer to or further from my goal?” Because there is one thing for sure. It will do one of the two. There’s no way around that. Even non-action, remaining stagnant, is not moving you closer to your goal. Therefore, it is getting you one step further from your set goal.

I try to remember this phrase and need to really apply it more in my life. There are a lot of things that I do that do Not get me closer to my written goals or even just the self-ideal that I have. I just need to get better at listening to that answer that pops in my head when I ask that question to myself.

There is absolutely No reason why you should be doing anything at all that takes you further from your desired goals. If you answer “Yes you should,” then maybe you should re-evaluate your goals. Maybe they need to be adjusted and revised.

Any-who, there have been a lot of things I have been doing lately that I would have to agree are not getting me closer to the person I say I want to become again. Notice the word again. It is hard to keep in the front of my mind and think before everything I do, whether or not it is going to get me closer to or further from my goals. But it is something I need to try to do nonetheless. Like Aristotle¬†said,”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Take a look into your own life and the things you do daily. Try to decipher whether or not they are helping you or hurting you. Do they represent the person you wish to portray to others, but more importantly yourself? If not, maybe it’s time to readjust your priorities and begin to change the things you do, the people you hang around, or the places you go. Like I stated earlier, EVERYTHING you do gets you either¬†one step closer to or one step further from your goal.

 

– Bryan Tresenriter

Habits: Do You See Them as Good or Bad?


Motivation,Habit,Love,Gain,Power,Success, Individual,Drive,Enthusiasm,

Some people look at habits as typically “bad,” but the truth is they can be the greatest contributor to a person’s success as well. You might not realize how much of your day-to-day activities are¬†actually run on “auto-pilot,” but it is said that it can be as much as 75%. I know you’re probably saying, “That’s a little much don’t you think?” But when you think about all the things you do just while waking up and getting ready in the morning for work, most of it is a learned behavior and not a conscious choice on your part.

That being the case, I think habits are an aspect of our character, abilities, etc., that should be closely examined and therefore exposed. Realization or acknowledgement of a problem is the first step in changing it. Below is a great article I read a long time ago, but recently ran across it and thought it was well worth posting here to¬†hopefully light up some bulbs over some people’s heads. Enjoy. ūüôā

Habits,Choice,Destiny,Fate,ControlHalf the things you do might just as well be turned over to me.
For I can do them quickly, correctly, and profitably.
I am easily managed; just be firm with me.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with the precision of a
machine and the intelligence of a person.
You can run me for profit, or you can run me for ruin.

Show me how you want it done. Educate me. Train me.
Lead me. Reward me.
And I will then…do it automatically.
I am your servant.Knowledge,Desire,Skills,Habits
Who am I?
I am a habit.

 

 

 

 

An excerpt from

Habits Die Hard

by Mac Anderson & John J. Murphy

My Monotony


Monotony, Motivation, Goals, Happiness, Struggle, Peace, God, Love, Self, Self-Esteem, Confidence, Courage, Greatness, Friendship, Family, Loved Ones, Life Is Beautiful

Lately I’ve been in what I guess could only be explained or described as a rut, a kind of slum. I seem to go through these phases from time to time. Even though I know that by default they are going to occur, I still can’t seem to keep them from happening. But, all is as it should be.

I decided to pick up a book that I don’t read much anymore, but felt the urge to, and guess what? The reading for today, March 12th, seemed to ring oh so true. For those that might be familiar with it, it is called “Just For Today,” and is part of the addict or recovering addict’s arsenal. Today’s reading says, “Many times in our recovery/ life, the old bugaboos will haunt us. Life may again become meaningless, monotonous, and boring.” That excerpt is pulled straight from p.87 in “The Big Book.”

This hit home for me today. It is describing exactly the state that I seem to be going in and out of over the course of the last month. Again, not¬†really sure why, but I just haven’t seemed to have that zest for life I had this time last year. Not by a long shot. There were things that I was doing daily that I loved, and¬†my connection with God was at an all time¬†high. Lately, it seems as though all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV, something I was only doing for probably a couple of hours total through a given week. I don’t know if I have become complacent, if I have lost my appreciation or gratitude for what I have in life, if I am not challenging myself enough, or if there is something I should be doing that I’m not (or something that I am doing that I shouldn’t be for that matter), and¬†that is making me depressed. I know that I can’t keep buying things to fill that void though (like the Playstation 3 I bought a few weeks ago), or I will be broke before long.Life_is_so_Beautiful_by_bon2x

Everything you read up to this point was written a couple of weeks ago, and I am glad to say that things have begun to look up. I still don’t know
why I go through this cycle of feeling like I am on top of the world to feeling that the whole world is resting on my shoulders and I don’t want to face it or deal with it.

It’s a funny thing that when you are being lazy, complacent, and feeling unmotivated, the one thing you should be doing is Anything that will build your self-esteem or make you feel constructive and productive. However, when unmotivated and feeling lazy, these are the exact things that you don’t want to do. So, you’re kind of up a certain creek without a paddle.

Throughout my life, I have seemed to have issues with feeling worthy and of value to society, and even my own family, to the extent that I have found it easier to evade a problem than to face it. Like they say, “The¬†only way to get over a problem or past a fear, is to go¬†Through it.” So this is what I have been dealing with and fortunately gaining ground with over the last year or two.

Peace, Love, Monotony, Friendship, Peace, God, Loved Ones, Life Is Beautiful, Money, Success, Family, Friends, Friendship, Life Can Be MonotonousA good practice I have found when going through times like this, is to sit back and think. Think of and write down all the things that you are grateful for. Write out all the things and people you have in life to be grateful for and appreciative of. When you really think about it, you probably have Many things in your life that many others might not have. We take so much for granted and there are so many people who don’t have the eyes to read this, the ability¬†to be woken up in the morning by the cry of¬†a baby, the hands to carry out the daily tasks that come with a labor intensive job like construction, and yet we complain and don’t use these God-given talents and abilities. Take stock of what you really have in life, and I bet you will begin to feel a little better about your situation. That’s what it took for me to begin to get back that Bryan that used to exist not too long ago, but that I had started to lose sight of.

Life is such an awesome ride. There is just so much to be happy about, that there is really no reason to ever be sad or depressed. I mean, when you look at the big picture of life, do some of the issues you have in your life really seem so bad? I have a good saying that I have framed and hanging next to my front door that says, “Happiness is not a destination, but a journey.” That is so true. All of it is so beautiful, because without the bad, the good wouldn’t be considered good. Or, as I have also read it,¬†“In the¬†absence of that which is¬†NOT, that which IS, is NOT.” Confusing, I know. It just means that without something’s opposite, that “something” loses its value. It just “is.”

Celebrate life and yourself, because you have done so much in your life up to this point. You have conquered so much and have created so much good for yourself and others. You just forget that fact sometimes. I know I do.

 

Thank You…

Self-Image versus The Real You


002

I’ve heard that “happiness” comes from what you do (Your job or career), or what you have (Your material possessions).¬†If this line of thinking is true, then it could also be said that when you do not have that perfect job, woman, house, or¬†a bank account overflowing with money, that you should be unhappy. Right?

Well, I was listening to a Tony Robbins CD not too long ago and¬†he said something that struck a chord and has stayed with me ever since. He said that your unhappiness doesn’t come so much from what you don’t have, as¬†it does¬†from the difference between your self-image (The mental blueprint you have of yourself), and the person you want to be. I know this might sound like common sense, but let me explain. If you did not have aspirations to be some rich and famous person in life, or have some awesome career doing what you truly have a passion for, and you end up with exactly that (The not¬†having of those things), then you will be totally content with who, what, and where¬†you are. The trick is when you truly want to be, do, or have something greater than what you currently are, do, or have, this will cause you to feel that shame, guilt, sadness, or anger. This is why when setting goals, doing visualizations or¬†affirmations, you should make sure that they are realistic. It goes back to the SMART method I spoke of in my blog on keeping New Year’s resolutions.

However, there could be some good in feeling that way, when you don’t add up to what it is that you know your Self, Self-Image, Deception, Looking at yourself in the mirror, the man in the mirror, goals, achievement, accomplishment, strategy, The real you, setting goalsworth. Those feelings of shame, remorse, guilt, or sadness could very well act as a catalyst to get your compass recalibrated and get you¬†moving in the “right”¬†direction. However, I would rather not have to go through that pain to be able to “see the light” and change my ways.

What you want to do is think long and hard about how you see yourself. Underneath all the hype and exaggerations that you sell yourself on a daily basis, is the real you. The Real You. This is the person that you cannot run from (although you may try), and is the person that you have to see every time you look in the mirror. Figure out who that person is and write it down if you have to. Writing it makes it more real to you. Then figure out who it is that you really want to be. What would truly make you happy in life? Whatever the gap is between the two is your margin or room for growth. That is where you should be focusing your time and energy.

Challenge yourself daily to close that gap. Move yourself closer and closer to the person that you dream of being, and farther away from that person or aspect of yourself that you wish to leave behind. If not now, when? If not you, who? It reminds me of something that an ex-coworker used to say a lot, “Everything you do (and I mean Everything) either gets you one step closer to or one step further away from your goal.” Which do you choose?

Bryan Keith Tresenriter

Take Action!


Take Action, Growth, Action, Opportunity, Family, Friends, God, Change, Jesus, GandhiJim Rohn once said, “Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action.” Ever since I was a young kid, I used to be so inquisitive. I used to ask my Mom why everything around me was the way it was, why things happened the way they did. I wanted answers. I liked to know the mechanics behind something and the reason for it. I used to break all of my toys to see what was inside and how they worked. I would usually have the intention of putting them back together, but almost always couldn’t. My Mom recalls one time when I looked up at her and said, “Mom, why is the sky blue?” Now, this was at about 3 years old. I mean, I hadn’t even been talking but for about 2 years and I was already questioning¬†why the¬†heavens looked the way they did.

I was once told by a very wise man that “knowledge is good, but in the end doesn’t amount to anything.” Literally, knowing something (or everything) will never produce one single result, be it good or bad. “What produces a result,” he said “was Action.” Action is the predecessor and the beginning of all accomplishment. Of course thought is needed, and in fact necessary, to act as a zero point from which all things emerge. But the fact remains, you have to physically do something, to get something done.

As it relates to personal development and growth, action is what turns that wish, that dream, that aspiration, into a reality. If your life doesn’t change as a result of your learning, you’re being faced with one of three options: You’re too impatient and not giving your plan enough time and attention; you’re spending too much of your time focusing on the wrong areas; or you’re not applying what you learn. A lot of the time, the third reasonAction_Sphere is usually the case.

Jesus was a great example of someone who took action, that practiced what he preached (pun intended). He led by example, and would usually only give an explanation or do the teaching after the fact.

What are the fruits of your thoughts and knowledge? Are you becoming what you say you want to become? Are you completing those things that you begin? Are you actually applying the words that you read in a book or see and hear on television? I’m sure this would be relevant to just about everybody on this planet. I’m sure the answer would be no to just about everybody on this planet.

Take all the knowledge you acquire and do something with it. Make it count. If it is being absorbed only to one day fall away with the memory loss that comes to all of us with old age, then why would you waste your precious life to learn it in the first place?

“Carpe Diem” (Seize The Day)¬†– HoraceCarpe Diem_Blocks

Never Miss An Opportunity To Say “I Love You”


Dove, Love, Angel, Death, Passed Away, Dad, Father, Life, Opportunity, I Love You, Chances, Family, Loved Ones

The phone rings and¬†you look at it to see who is calling. You then decide in your half-awaken state¬†that¬†you don’t feel like talking, so you let it go to voice mail . “I’ll call them back later today or tomorrow,” you say. Have you ever thought that there might not be another day to call them back?

I was told that you should always value those that are close to you. Don’t ever put them on the back burner, or wait till tomorrow to tell them how much they mean to you. Of course, this is not something that you need to have pointed out to you though.

When you are a child, you do childish things. You don’t put loved ones or their feelings first. But the fact of the matter is, even as we get older, we sometimes still only think of ourselves. There are still times when our¬†Mom, Dad, Grandmother,¬†or some other family member calls us and when¬†we look at the caller ID and see who it is,¬†we roll back over to get another 30 minutes of sleep. For 30 more minutes of sleep…

I bring all this up, because this happened to me recently. I received a call a few weeks ago from the man I have always considered to be my father. I was staying home from work with the flu. I was feeling very bad, so I decided to let the call go to voice mail and told myself I would call him back later that day or the next. Bad decision. So, this was twoLove, Family, Dad, Father, Passed Away, Life, Opportunity, Cherish, Chances, Passed Away, Died weeks ago, and this morning I get a call from his wife telling me he was not expected to live another 24 hours. The prostate cancer he had discovered a few years ago had gotten much worse in the recent weeks. It had spread throughout his body all the way to his brain. His body was getting cold and all his organs were beginning to shut down. When I heard this, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked up to Tom so much. He was such an awesome and intelligent man who I held the utmost respect for.

The problem, as I’m sure you’re aware, was that I chose¬† to sleep over talking to him, probably for the last time. When his wife Denise called me, she put me on speakerphone so I could speak to him one last time, but he wasn’t “there,” and wasn’t able to really talk back to me. I heard him groaning and trying to form words, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying to me. I let slip through my fingers an opportunity, the last opportunity I would ever have, to enjoy a conversation with this man who I loved so much. Now I feel like a piece of you know what. I can’t do it over. I will always remember how I chose to sleep over speaking to Tom and telling him how much I loved him and how proud of him I was.

AngelI said all of this to say that you should never neglect those that are close to you. Never choose to be selfish over sharing an incredible, and possibly final, moment that you have with someone you hold so close to your heart. It might not seem like a big deal at the time, but it hurts when you know that because of your selfish or lazy ways, you lost out on an opportunity to say “I love you.”

I hope this helps someone to realize what they have, when they have it. Don’t ever forget those that you cherish and cherish you. They are important and vital parts of your life and your being. I love you Tom…… So much of what I am today is because of your influence on my life. Goodbye.

Lessons Learned?


Growth Opportunities, Change, Lessons, Love, Happiness, Seize Opportunities

As I face fears and unwanted situations, it sometimes causes me to wonder why they manifest in my life. Why do I keep having to face fears that I harbor, and why do unwanted situations and circumstances keep appearing in my life?

Over the years I have heard many beliefs and theories on the subject, and have thus¬†formed my own conclusion. Sigmund Freud’s¬†prot√©g√©, Carl Jung,¬†wrote in his book “The Structure of The Psyche,” about his theory on¬†“archetypes.” He believed that these “archetypes” are models of people, behaviors, or personalities. He also believed these “archetypes” existed in what is now known as the “collective unconscious.”¬†Jung believed that this part of the psyche served as a form of psychological inheritance. It contains¬†all of
the knowledge and experiences we share as a species. I further learned that we have what would be called our “public self,” as well as our “private self.” When there is an aspect of our total self that¬†we suppress, as in a fear of speaking in public, we unconsciously bring people, situations, and circumstances, into our lives to help us face or overcome that fear that we continually hide.

I think of the different people in my life, and I look at what type of relationship we share. I try to understand what the purpose is for their being in my life. What are they there to help me to overcome? Is that too talkative person I have to listen to every day there to help me to become more patient? Is that same homeless person I walk by every day that begs for money helping me learn compassion and kindness? What about selflessness?

Are the situations and circumstances surrounding my life there to help me overcome some deep-seated fear? As mentioned above, if I keep being put in awkward situations where I am asked to speak in front of a group of people, could this be because public speaking or having the spotlight on me is a major fear of mine? I believe so.

I believe that when you look at your life, you will see that everything happens for a reason and usually to teach you a lesson or help you to grow. For instance, I used to have a problem with telling someone “no”. I started to see manifest in my life, many opportunities where I could choose to answer either “yes” or “no.” If I choose to say yes and allow this person to walk all over me,¬†that same situation will¬†continue to manifest itself in my day-to-day life. If however, I learn to say “no” to that person who is asking me for a favor or for me to inconvenience myself at their expense, I will begin to free myself of that fear. They say the only way to get over something is to go through it.

So take a look at what you keep having to face that makes you uncomfortable in any way. Are you being given opportunities to practice and therefore overcome impatience,¬†selfishness, intolerance, anger, etc…? So,¬†try not to¬†take these people and¬†circumstances as “bad” or undesirable. Instead, look at them as¬†gifts, opportunities, and agents of change.¬†They are there for a reason and a good one at that. As it is said in the Bible, “I have sent you nothing but Angels.”

Surviving The Chaos


Survival, Perseverance, Overcoming

What does it mean to survive? When you look up “survival” in the dictionary, you will¬†find several definitions. There are two that stand out to me the most though. The first definition I like is: to endure or live through (an affliction, adversity, misery, etc), but that one just does not portray my internal belief about what survival truly means. The second definition I like, and is probably my favorite, says:¬†to get along or remain healthy, happy, and unaffected in spite of some occurrence.

What is it that causes us to keep trudging through the difficult times that we face? What is it that tells us to put our head down and put one foot in front of the other? I would go as far as to say that it’s our hopes, dreams, and our will that gives us that drive, that fire that powers the essence of who we are.

Sometimes it isn’t easy to keep facing your fears and weaknesses, day in and day out. The easier route IS to give up and surrender. But what is the purpose in that? The truth is, when you surrender to the hardships or fears that you have to face in life, they do not go away, never to return. Quite the opposite actually. You are only prolonging and sometimes even exacerbating the situation.¬†So, what to do?

Like the definition stated above, true survival is when you get along or remain healthy, happy, and even unaffected by the situation that brings you grief. This is when you know you can move on and not have to look back for anything.

I admire those that have not had the easiest life and have still proven that they are fighters, warriors, and champions. These are the ones that will grow stronger, wiser, and more determined because of it. Like Friedrich Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t destroy me, only makes me stronger.”¬†When life seems like¬†there is no way out and that it can’t get any better, it is Hope that you must have. If you dig deep enough, you can always find something to love, cherish, and hold onto that will help you make it to the next day. When all else seems bitter and bleak, when it seems like you are at the bottom, just remember the only way you can go is up.

There are not many things greater than the feeling of accomplishment in the face of adversity. It can change your whole perspective on life. Trials and tribulations can definitely take a lot out of you and beat you down, both physically and emotionally. The trick then, is to find that hope, that person or thing to help steer you through those perilous waters. What do You hold on to when you are down and out? What are You living for? What do You value above all else?

A¬†person who is¬†very close to me¬†has been dealing with a lot in the recent years. They’ve had to endure some very tough struggles and life-threatening situations. What is good about having to fight to regain your life and keep your head above water, is that you will develop an unshakable¬†will to succeed. You will have burning inside you, a flame that cannot easily be snuffed. You become more determined than ever, and gain a new clarity or vision on your life’s path. This is an awesome reward in itself.

Surviving tough times or a tough life is a hard fight, but it is well worth it and extremely rewarding. I suggest you take an inventory of yourself and your life, and decide right here and now what is important to you. Determine and identify what you really want to live for. Is it success, family, a loved one, children, your career, or something else that is important to you? Take inventory of those things and never let the thought or memory of them fade from your mind. For these are the “real” things in life, and what Jesus meant when he said, “the most important things in life aren’t things at all.”

– Bryan Tresenriter

4 Surefire Ways To Get Your New Year’s Resolutions DONE!


New Year's Resolution, Goals

It’s almost that time of year where we¬†decide those things that we say are going to change as of January 1st, commonly known as a New Year’s Resolution. A resolution has a few meanings in the dictionary, but the one’s that I find to be the most descriptive are: 1.) ¬†To decide firmly on a course of action, and 2.) A firm determination to do something. Notice that both of these definitions use the word “firm.” This means that it is not something to take lightly, which is what I find to be a big part of the reason we, myself included, seem to let our resolutions fall by the wayside after a short period.

I am about to share with you a few ways to help put some focus on the plan of action for your resolutions and to let you know if you are on track with that plan of action.

1. Use the SMART method when it comes to defining your goal/s. This is an acronym that first appeared in a November 1981 issue of Management Review in an article by George T. Doran. It stands for:

  • Specific – target a specific area for improvement
  • Measurable – quantify or at least suggest an indicator of progress
  • Attainable – Make sure it is achievable and realistic
  • Realistic – State what results can realistically be achieved, given available resources.
  • Time-Specific – Specify when the result(s) can be achieved.

2. Envision The End Result.

What does the end look like. Can you see yourself there? Imagine what the end result will look like, feel like, sound like, etc… The more realistic you can imagine this, the better chance you have of your subconscious mind finding creative ways to get you to that end result or goal.

3. Work Backwards.

Once you can see that achievable goal and see yourself to have already accomplished it in your mind, begin to work backwards from that point in time to today. In other words, if one of your goals is to save $20,000 by end of year 2014, how much do you need to have saved at the half-way point, or within 6 months? Obviously, your answer would probably be $10,000. Great. Now that you know that, what do you need to have within 3 months? Again, your answer is probably going to be $5,000. Ok. So taking it further, what would you need at the end of each month? The answer is $1,667. Of course you could have just taken the total amount and divided it by 12 to figure out the monthly savings required to reach your goal. This process should be applied to every goal it can be used for. The purpose of doing this is to break you goal/s into smaller bite-sized chunks that are not so overwhelming and intimidating. This way you do not get paralyzed from taking action, today, on your goals.

4. Micromanage Your Self And Your Goals.

Now that you have an idea of what each month’s goal will be to get you to that year-end achievement, break each month down into even smaller goals. You might want to look at what needs to be done each week to get you where you need to be at the end of each month. When you do this, it allows you to see your progress a lot more clearly and allows you to adjust your monthly, quarterly, and bi-annual benchmarks. Being flexible with your goals is what will allow you to not get disappointed when you get behind or don’t do something within the allotted time.

What I like to do once I know what each week looks like is to write down¬†my daily “to-do’s,” or tasks, to get me where I need to be at the end of each week. This is the essence of micro-managing your yearly goals. As you¬†complete each task, you cross it off your list. This works to give you a sense of accomplishment and re-enforces your will to keep pushing forward to complete your goal/s.

Along with this great method of stating and evaluating your goals and the progress in achieving them, you will definitely need a good amount of discipline in time management. If you are unable to manage your time, you will be hard-pressed in getting done what needs to be done each day.

I hope this article has helped you to think of new ways in achieving what it is you say you want to achieve. The methods found in this article have been around for a long time and will be around for a much longer time to come for one reason, they Work!

 

Best,

Bryan Tresenriter